A horse story that we can all learn from.
Riding horses after my first kid was born was different. Due to complications, it was 6 months before I was back in the saddle. 6 months of building frustration over my circumstances and not being where I wanted to be in my riding career. That frustration led to a deep seeded fear that maybe, now that I had kids and I was fatter and nothing seemed to go as planned, I never would get where I wanted.
One day Silas and I were able to escape for a rare and much needed long trail ride, and guilt for leaving the crying baby with someone else was heavy. Getting away from your baby is hard in many ways, mostly emotional. I took Silas over the little mountain by his farm to the big open hay fields. The last time we were here had been glorious and we needed a redo. But as we got to the bottom of the hill Silas became agitated that I wasn’t letting him gallop yet and started bucking and he is a very talented bucker. I’m not saying I usually enjoy his antics but today entered a completely different realm. The fear was so intense that I could barely feel my hands. All I could feel was tingling.
Let me make something clear- I had been training horses for years, galloped racehorses that would stand straight up when they felt like it, have always been given the naughty horses to “fix”, and saw big jumps as a chance to face my fear and prove myself. This numbing fear was foreign to me.
We safely made our way home and eventually I got full feeling back in my hands, but the memory of the moment settled in. I was frustrated that I could be effected so much by some silly misbehaving of my own horse that didn’t even lead to an accident. I shamed myself. I took it as affirmation that I would never get where I wanted to be in riding (I know this sounds ridiculous, but I’m pretty sure we’ve all spiraled over different things). And the constant frustration and shame meant years later I still struggled with this fear in certain situations, especially out on the trail.
One morning I had the TV on playing the Today Show while I went about caring for my second kid (the first was in preschool), and they were featuring a guy who had done an insane amount of Ironman races. They asked him for one tip, and he said something to the tune of, the most important voice you hear is your own. You are in your own head all day talking to yourself. Say good things.
I have had a direct sales business since before kids, and have learned about affirmations so many times through our personal growth training. But I had never heard it phrased like that. What could I say to myself? How could I encourage myself? I video’d the clip and posted it on Facebook it was so impactful.
A couple days later I found myself making that same trek out to the big hay field with a group of friends. My skin was buzzing as I over analyzed every twitch of Silas’s ear, convinced he would launch into a bucking fit. But then I remembered those words, and I decided to talk to myself. In my head I started to say, I am a brave and capable rider, and Silas is a brave and kind horse. We are good! Over and over again. By about the 4th repeat Silas stopped prancing down the trail and started walking flat footed. I continued to repeat it until it rang true and I forgot I needed to say anything. We had a great ride that day. Silas behaved himself, and I learned a truly important lesson about overcoming fear.
Now I usually laugh when Silas acts up. I’m grateful for a horse that continues to challenge me after 10 years. If he were an angel, I’d be bored. #perspective
I’m curious…What scares you? Is this a technique you feel like you could use?
Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss the next post on liveridelearn!
God is good,
Sarah
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