If you have not already noticed, when I was young I was very timid. I saw no reason to be assertive, and therefore I was not assertive. I also wanted so badly to do everything perfectly that I would often do nothing. I still remember Misty setting back one day – that’s when a horse who is tied to something decides for whatever reason that she no longer wants to be tied. She “sets back” by rocking back on her haunches and pulling against the rope with their entire body. It’s often a fear reaction, but sometimes horses realize they can set back and escape (something usually breaks and they achieve freedom) and it becomes a trick up their sleeve. Believe it or not, for all of Misty’s tricks she didn’t normally set back. Well, today she did. Heather and I had our horses tied to the horse trailer, and we were tacking up for our ride that day. Maybe I scared her – I don’t know, but she set back. I froze – something we might call “paralysis by analysis.” As I stood there useless, Heather quickly reached over and untied the quick release knot before Misty broke something (us, the equipment or herself). Oops! Sorry Heather for being a bump on a log!
I remember the day I finally “hatched.” Their was a young girl – 8 or so – who had this huge quarter horse she was learning to run barrels on. His name was Big Jet. Big Jet had realized the 8 year old had no real say so in his actions so he started doing whatever he wanted. Mrs. Brenda instructed me to give Big Jet an attitude check. Seriously? What was I supposed to do about it? So I tacked him up and got going. We didn’t get too far, because about 4 steps away from the barn Big Jet stopped. I gently squeezed to ask him to move on. No response. Then I gently tapped my heels on his side. Still nothing. Was he numb or something?! Hello! I just told you to MOVE! So then I gigged him with my heels. Big Jet put his head down between his front legs and sprung straight in the air! My eyes about popped out of my head as Mrs. Brenda yelled, “kick him!” We landed and seeing as I was still centered and balanced I did just that – gave him a big ole kick – and we launched back into the air. In midair I realized, “I’ve got this!” and Big Jet had met his match. He bucked and I kicked and I kicked and he bucked. This was fun! Eventually Big Jet wore down and gave in. We both got an attitude check. He didn’t give anyone problems the rest of the time I rode at that barn (years), and I had finally found my confidence. From then on I was a different person and a different rider. The confidence I found the day I “hatched” has carried me through many arenas of life – in and out of the saddle.
Lesson of Day: “Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s feeling the fear and doing it anyway” – author unkown
And when you face the fear and do it anyway, the fear usually will disappear 😉
Soli deo gloria
~Sarah
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