Do you have a lesson God keeps teaching you over and over again?
In my younger days, I remember learning about the Israelites in church and giving them a major eye roll. I mean, how hard is it to NOT make a golden calf while Moses is meeting with God to receive the Ten Commandments? I remember thinking, God just rescued you by parting the Red Sea and you’re already turning on him? When you read the Old Testament, you can’t help but face-palm over how quickly the Israelites forget God’s commandments and his goodness.
And here I am. How many times has God taught me this same lesson? And how many times will He have to remind me in the future? To understand the lesson, you need to know a little about me. If you’re a birth order enthusiast, I’m the third. I’ve been fiercely independent since before it was cool. I’m not afraid to go places alone if no one else is interested in joining me, and I like to blaze my own trail.
The closer I walked with the Lord the more I realized that something I’ve always taken pride in is a problem. God didn’t make me to be independent. He wants me to be dependent on Him.
I basically wrote a book about the first time God taught me to depend on Him! In Finding Gideon, I left home to chase a dream as a believer in God, but I had never needed nor understood how to rely on Him. You’d think after living that insane experience (and reliving it several times in the writing and editing process), I’d remember.
But then we forget
All of January I waited for Audible to approve Finding Gideon so I could launch my audiobook. People were lined up to announce it to the world. It was going to be epic. But Audible didn’t approve.
By Feb 1, I decided I needed to just go ahead and announce it. After all, it’s available from 10 other retailers including Spotify. I rush-ordered graphics, made some of my own, and threw it out onto the internet on the 2nd to a pretty lackluster response. Just being honest here. I’m not sure what I expected. Maybe for the skies to open and confetti come pouring out? Maybe for it to hit some audiobook bestseller list I don’t even know exists? For the New York Times to call?
Friday afternoon, my brain was spinning. I was on the constant cycle of pick up my phone and check all my social media accounts. Disappointment weighed heavy. The skies did not rain confetti. The New York Times didn’t call, text, or even email. “God? What am I supposed to do?” was my prayer.
And I heard it. The thing I’ve heard so many times before. Trust me.
God has been pretty clear with me in this book writing and publishing process, that I can only do what I can do, (And I’ll do my best at it). HE will take care of the results. In other words, I need to surrender it to Him.
The panicky feeling of things not going how I want has quickly become the roadsign to my heart to pause and adjust perspective. I walk with God, I pursue the calls He puts on my heart, but the results are all in His hands. Life is a lot less stressful that way.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that a lot of the world’s anxiety issues might come down to this one thing – a lack of surrender.
What do you hold onto with white knuckles? What fears do you refuse to let go of and trust God with?
Maybe it’s time to surrender; to cast all our anxieties on Him because he cares for us <3
Soli Deo Gloria,
Sarah
P.S. Audible did finally approve Finding Gideon. Here’s the link if you have credits burning a hole in your pocket! Finding Gideon
Recent Comments