This one is more of a heart story. You probably noticed by now that horses were what I revolved my life around. I also grew up in a very devoted church family. My relationship with God has always been a very important part of my life. A couple of years after I finally started riding I had a bit of what I might call a “God” check. I was in church on a Sunday listening to the sermon, and the preacher was telling his story. He had spent his life dreaming of being a major league baseball pitcher. When he made it to the minor leagues he felt God calling him to give up baseball to go into the ministry. I can still see the deep brown wood, crimson pew cushions and carpet, and off white walls around me. I was sitting up high in the balcony. Everything seemed to be spinning, and my insides began to split right down the middle. You know when you have that feeling that goes from your chest down to your stomach that tells you you know your doing something wrong? I had that feeling. I was not about to give up my horses. What was God thinking?!! This was my lifelong dream and I felt like I had finally just made it come true. I carried this with me for what felt like weeks. It was an inner battle complete with swords, guns, and spiky battle instruments. The battle was destroying me on the inside until it finally brought me to my knees. I was at the barn with my beloved horse when I decided to quit running from it. I honestly couldn’t run from it anymore. I had to face God. “God, do I really have to give up my horses? It’s all I ever wanted.” God said, “Put me first.” Again I asked, “God, do I REALLY have to give up my horses? Please don’t make me give up my horses!” And God said, “Put me first.” For a full week I begged and pleaded with God. “Please don’t make me give up my horses! It’s all I ever wanted.” And God said, “put me first.” I was standing outside the barn at the edge of the grass waiting for my Mom to pick me up when I finally got it. Put Him first. God didn’t want me quit riding and sell my horse. He didn’t want me to give up on my lifelong dream. God wanted me to give the dream to Him. He wanted me to give my horse to Him. It’s that simple. Put God first. God had blessed me by putting horses in my life. How can you own such beauty and majesty? I finally understand now, though to be honest God has had to remind me a few times.
God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve. I now understand that I don’t really own a horse. Can one own the wind? I am blessed to be a keeper of the horse. Words can’t really explain what all went on inside me that day. Maybe as I continue this blog I’ll get better at sharing the “inside story.” Whether you believe in God or not, I can promise you that I have a spectacular story to tell. In fact, I can hardly believe many of the things that have happened to me in 27 short years. That is the entire reason for this blog. So be sure to stay tuned.
Lesson for the day: Put God first.
Soli deo gloria
~Sarah
Recent Comments